Checking In From Minnesota

So I figured I'd take a break from the fantasy writing to check in with everyone.  And by take a break I mean get my lazy ass back to the writers desk. Currently the writers desk is a door on it's side braced by two construction thingy s. I think they're called tripods, but I don't like to get technical in my blogs.

I know when I left many people warned me of the winters in Minnesota.  Thanks everybody, I'll just tuck those New York words of wisdom on Minnesota winters in my butt so I can poop them out later.  Really the winters in Minnesota aren't so bad, I mean, there's about two weeks where it's -35 degrees (Fahrenheit since we know the interwebs are global, gotta take care of my British peeps),  The real issue with Minnesota winters is they are so fucking unpredictable.  Minnesotans will tell the Scandinavian belief, "There's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing."  So we'll go out in winter like we have to live off the land during the zombie apocalypse in the dead of winter.  That means 3 layers on the top and bottom, that means two pairs of socks on truly cold days.  Here's the kicker, we'll walk out and it'll be 10 degrees in the morning.  Cold, yes?  Then it'll warm up to 25 during the afternoon.  We might even be tempted to take off a few layers of clothing, it's almost Spring!!!  So we walk out like what up!  Then night comes and its back to -25 again and we're wondering how we were never able to qualify for the 100 meter dash.  Next day, it's 10 degrees again and you're thinking, "Oh, I'll be fine with the three layers of clothes."  Then we have this anomaly in Minnesota called "THE WINDS OF FUCKING HELL".  So your iPhone will tell you it's 10 degrees out, but it's just fucking with you.  The "Wind Chill" comes into effect.  And suddenly it "feels like" -20 below.  Like fuck you already.  I have 3 layers and a dead animal on and I can't stop this wind from piercing me to the bone.  Then you're in the car praying it'll start like PLEASE just turn over and heat up.  20 minutes of driving and you're heat finally feels like a warm ice cube and then you're at your destination.

Pleasant winters aside I haven't changed much since coming home.  I mean, I grew a beard so I look all mountain man.  Many beards here in Minnesota, land of the Vikings.  I think it's something in the water, which taste suspiciously like beer.  I might be a bit heartier when I shovel the drive way at night and I refuse to use the snow blower like some tourist.  I also might have broken it the first big snowfall.  Anyways, that's all I have for now, stay warm out there.