So, Like, Minnesota Still Has Snow in Some Places

And I went to those places.  Why you may ask?  Because family.  And when you're a hearty Scandinavian man born in the frozen Tundra of Minnesota, you go places with snow for vacation.  In Summer.  What was really scary was how many people were wearing shorts, it was about 50 degrees but because there was Lake Superior, the lake that thinks it's a sea, right next to us there was a wicked wind blowing constantly.  It was like sticking a block of ice in front of a fan, that old school A/C.  Made everything cold.

Yet it was so beautiful there.  I've been living in New York for almost seven years, and I forget how green our world can be.  Minnesota is very flat, a really tall hill is like a mountain for us.  Yet if you go you'll see more trees, lakes, rivers, prairies, and moose.  I wanted to wrestle a moose, but being in God's country I'm guessing He decided it was best if I didn't run into one. I, I don't always make the best decisions.

Aside from nature, it was great being around family.  All the nieces and nephews, my brothers and sister and those they've brought into our family.  We hiked and swam in an outdoor pool during that day, and then took turns cooking dinner.  Always, we ended up playing cards and reminiscing.  Getting a little competitive at times, but most just laughing.  We've gotten older but damn if I don't love my family.  Unless they're being assholes.  See below for PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW

PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW

You know what really grinds my gears? Usually other gears

Sometimes I feel like I'm driving a with square wheels.  Off road, and I'm being attacked by ninjas on wagons.  Station wagons.  The old school kind where the back seat was facing backwards and the window rolls down so you can throw shurikens at cars following you.  I may have imagined that last part as a child but it seems very relevant right now.  So I'm kicking butt at work and I've been growing and taking on more responsibility.  Moving my career forward and all that.  So we had this charity golf event and I invited a few people from my largest client.  After the first hole I looked down and noticed I had a small hole in my shorts.  By the final hole it looked like this:

I know what you're thinking, the man knows how to pose.  Thankfully it only got a little worse before I realized I had a pair of pants in the car.  So only had to suffer a little humiliation at the hands of three different branches, my largest clients, and the squirrels that were running around on the course. 

Outside of my total fails on the golf course I've also stepped back a little from the dating scene.  Few reasons, first, I realized I need to focus a little more on my career and writing.  I figure back taking a step back I'll better be able carve my path.  Then I'll be sexier.  I know, you look at the photo above and you're like, "How is that even possible!?"  I'm not sure, I mean, look at my calf muscles.  Majestic.  Majestic as fuck.  The other reason is women are expensive.  Going out on dates, especially when you're active on a website like OK Cupid.  The website is free, the dates are not.  I'm also waaaaay too social.  So I've been on so many dates just because someone suggested meeting up even though I'm kind of like....no thanks.  Stupid Minnesota Nice. 

Game of Thrones Feast Deliciousness

First I would like to start off by saying all those words in my title today are real. Second, having a Game of Thrones feast was a great idea. If' you're reading the books you know Mr. Martin loves his food. And sex, but you can't eat sex (hehehehe) so we're just gonna move on. Unless people want a Game of Thrones orgy. Dammit people we're talking about food.

I've always like the sound of these feasts, because if you say the word feast to someone, I'm guessing the first image that comes to their head is a big meal with lots of happy people toasting life and eating good food. If you have a feast it might not be in a great hall like the stories of old, but I'm guessing you'll get a few good people there, hopefully some good food and drink, and general conversation that makes everyone smile. So, without further ado, I present you with the making of my Game of Thrones feast!

Here's all the food...you know before I make it delicious. I bought the Unofficial cookbook because it was cheaper and a couple of recipes really stood out. Mostly for this leg of lamb dish that just looked out of this world delicious. That's for another day. A quick tip, you'll notice I have two bottles of the same wine. When cooking with wine (as this recipe calls for), ALWAYS serve the wine you cooked with at the table, it'll complement the meal nicely. In this regard, never use cooking wine. Just learn your wines and you'll eventually figure out which to use for food and dishes. The main dish is Salladohr Saan's Minced Lamb with Pepper. Given the character has a very Mediterranean flare, I added some Turkish side dishes. A spicy spinach dish and Turkish rice. Want a quick idea that's a delicious appetizer? Of course you do. Cut up a couple of red and green bell peppers, maybe some broccoli, and serve it with good hummus. It's almost no work, it's very healthy, and super delicious.

So this recipe called for me to step outside my normal cooking skills. As you can see here's the slow cooker (aka croquet pot which I always and still do believe is spelled crock pot), I've lined the bottom with sliced potatoes and eggplant. That was the hard part.

My mom got me a pestle and mortar a few years ago. Maybe she thought I wanted to be a wizard. I never really used it except to show off, because why? Then I couldn't find ground cinnamon, and we didn't have ground cloves. But I had whole versions of both. Touche mother.

This was actually the hardest part. The lamb smelled so delicious while cooking I thought I was going to just start spoon feeding myself. After sauteing this I added in the spices, cinnamon, cayenne pepper, salt, other stuff I can't remember right now and the book is literally just out of reach. I could lean a little, but what are you gonna do? After all the sauteing and simmering I tossed it into the crockpot. Let that shit simmer for 2 hours.

Here's where it actually got tricky, see all that white cheese? It's fancy Gruyere. Which is just a French way of saying store brand Swiss cheese. You know how expensive the imported cheese is? I'll live in my ignorance thank you very much. The recipe called for me to whisk (wisk?) together some flour and milk over heat. Or medium-high heat, which NO NOZZLE IN THE WORLD HAS A SETTING FOR THAT. That means guessing, a lot. Anyways I made a mess but eventually I whipped in some eggs, fancy Gruyere cheese, and some nutmeg. Tossed that concoction onto the meat and let it cook for another 2 hours or so.

After 20 some odd hours of cooking, we finally got to sit down and feast. You'll notice the matching dinnerware and elegant foldout table. I SAID NOTICE IT!!! Might be someone forgot to buy a tablecloth. Throughout the night there were shenanigans, great conversation, and feasting of epic movie levels. And even though it was a lot of work, and a little pricey, I can't wait to have everyone over again soon.