Random Adventures and a quick return to Minny!

So for those of you who don't know, I bartend at a place called Bar 89. Now back in the day (like 1996) it was the shit. I'm talking all the models from the nearby Ford Modeling Agency would come in and get wasted and there were plenty of interesting stories. Now, 14 years later it is the great crusher of dreams. I have never worked in a place where every single person is looking for a way out. It is like purgatory, with decor to match. Yeah if you got a new job you'd be in Heaven, but the place is like a black stain on your resume. Everything there is black and white, from the decor to the rules. Except they have seasonal art that disrupts the monotony of the surroundings. For the holiday season they had angel wings that slowly ascended and a nice quote by St. Thomas Aquinas. For Valentines Day they had a large cast iron heart with about a hundred railroad spikes pounded into it and blood dripping down the back and on either side of the heart was a poem that read like this:

Love Kills Slowly
Kills Slowly Love
Slowly Love Kills

Sooooo, yeah. Very happy stuff. Kind of matched the staff's feelings about the place. I have met a lot of pretty girls and a lot of rap producers (Murder Inc. used to be down the street), but the money I make there is not so bueno. Needless to say I need a new job but the place has served its purpose in some ways.

On another note I did get to go back to Minnesota for Dave's 30th birthday bash. In the interest of being stupid I planned a date the night before I was supposed to leave. She canceled due to the impending snowstorm and I found myself trying to find a new flight the next morning when mine was canceled. After some finagling with Dave we found me a flight and then I headed to LaGuardia with barely a minute to spare. Then I went to the wrong terminal and found myself pacing as the slowest terminal bus in the world slowly took me to the right location. Finally off I went and made it back to Minnesota in just under 6 hours. Layovers suck in case anyone needed clarification on that point. Back home I met up with the party in downtown Minneapolis and within five minutes I knocked over a pint glass of beer onto Dave's mom. Is great success! After everyone took their shots at me for setting the mood the party bus arrived, except that the real party bus had broke down that morning and they had to give us a coach bus. So naturally we went and played bingo instead of going to all the random bars. A few beers in our systems killed that idea and we began our odyssey through memory lane and all the little shitty clubs and bars we went to when we were younger. My favorite was a place called "Stargate", just like the movie! If you've ever been to a nightclub deep in the suburbs you know this type of place. I mean, I payed $4 for a corona at a club! I can't get that at happy hour in NYC! And it was a theme night, as in Asian night. I have never felt so tall in my life, I mean the Chinese are shorter on average than me, but Minnesota has a large Hmong population and the average height that night was like 4'7". While we strolled around like giants I remembered why I really appreciate NYC and the effort put into going out. The night slowly fades after all that, something about drinking a lot of beer and a shot or two and me waking up the next morning to my Dad trying to get me up to play broomball. Broomball is similar to hockey except that instead of skates you have spongy shoes, play with a small ball and the sticks have a flat club-like head. It was three hours of fun until I pulled both of my hamstrings and my groin. Stretching is for wusses!

The trip home was fun, especially because I ran into my cousin who was going to NYC for business and we got to chat over a couple of beers and agreed to meet up later for a bday drink. That led to a fun time with an old regular who spent the next three hours trying to pick up my cousin. Needless to say it didn't work so well for her but we all did have good times.

Speaking of girls trying to pick people up I had a date the very next night with a nice girl from NJ. Problem is she lives in NJ so that makes for a long commute. And the commute gets longer when you don't hear that you have to be in the front two cars to get off the train and find yourself running down the train and she sees it all and laughs and the train guy doesn't open the door after its closed. Apparently I am quite the sprinter and she found it pretty funny. Broke the ice a little I think. We even had a second date, brunch on Valentine's Day. Although in my defense I didn't realize it was Valentine's Day I just wanted an excuse to have some brunch. Brunch was good and an old man even made some quick witted jokes as he came by our table to get his and his wife's coats. There was a balloon involved at brunch too, it was pink.

Valentine's Day was also the beginning of the Chinese New Year. I think this year is the Year of the Dumpling because they're so delicious. We went to Chinatown in hopes of catching some type of performance and instead just got there too late and found ourselves wandering around looking for something cool to see. Thankfully there were a lot of people going in opposite directions so we didn't have to worry about not constantly bumping into people. It was like being in a can of sardines with all of them still alive and pushing each other out of the way. Yeah that's the best analogy I can come up with right now. So that's been my past couple of weeks in a nutshell, hope everyone is doing well and don't forget to check out my other blog, www.theexiledking.blogspot.com. It's a fantasy story that should be read from the beginning.